Oh boy

Hey. Did you know that people go up in planes and then, to get back to the ground, they JUMP OUT?!?

Well, in 45 minutes I will be arriving at the airport. A couple of hours after that, I will be doing something that nature never intended us to do. I'd like to think I am as prepared as I'm going to be. The plan is to keep the freaking out inside. I will likely take something before I board, and hopefully drift off to sleep on the flight. In case I'm doomed to being awake - which I suspect I will be - I have packed a couple of movies, lots of stuff on my iPod, a couple of books and a new magazine. I expect I won't enjoy the experience. In all seriousness, I hope I can tolerate it or, at best, be okay/indifferent. I know all of the facts - statistically I've got more chance to die in the shower than in a plane, it's safe, planes work blah blah etc. If only emotions and fears responded to intellect and knowledge.

I'm flying Southwest. Supposedly they come on the speakers and tell jokes and sing. I'm sure that'll help a lot. Also, they have a good safety rating, and have had no crashes or major accidents in 37 years. So DON'T YOU THINK THEY'RE DUE FOR ONE?!?!?

The bright side is that I can say I've done it. I've flown. I can use the expression "I've got a plane to catch!" If I get the chance. In fact, maybe I'll call someone a few minutes before I've got to go, start a conversation, and then abruptly interrupt and end it with "Can't talk now - I've got a plane to catch!" I could also become a member of the mile-high club, if I'm willing to be the only member of my club (ifyouknowwhatimean).

I would write about my experiences on the plane, but apparently I can't because there's no Internet in the sky. I thought that's where Internet came from.

But I can't write now - I've got a plane to catch!